Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
