Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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