Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
