why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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