Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
