Duck Duck Cougar?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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