Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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