Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Vodka?
Forever.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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