I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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