is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
