I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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