i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he fucked my hip out of place.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
