All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
