new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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