plz talk dirty to me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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