Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
