you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
