"it" just moved
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
