I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
