she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize