That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
