it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
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This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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