"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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