I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
