Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
