Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
