I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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