Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
