im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
