Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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