you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
