It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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