I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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