Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just invented taco cereal.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize