"it" just moved
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
