we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
