Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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