Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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