My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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