What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
