I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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