you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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