thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
