i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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