in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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