No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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