We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
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I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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