I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
