Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
