I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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