Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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