I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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