You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
