Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
