We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
