Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
