I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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